Saving Lives Through Adoption
Over the last few weeks in this column, I have been discussing the importance of transforming modern society and culture from an anti-life mindset to a moral framework that values and safeguards human dignity. Promoting and encouraging the noble gift of adoption is one way to realize this vision, by giving children an opportunity to flourish when they would not be able to do so with their biological families.
The foundation of adoption is found not in the act of human beings adopting other persons, but in God’s goodness and action: “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (Gal 4:4-5). God paid the “price” for our adoption. And in this act of self-giving love, God also models for us how we are to approach serving others, as in the gift of adoption.
When speaking about human beings, we understand a fundamental truth: human beings possess an intrinsic worth. Every person, especially a child, born and preborn, should be treated as an end in themselves and not as a means to something else. “A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged ‘right to a child’ would lead” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2378).
Marriage and family are sacred gifts from God, and children are wonderful blessings. And for married couples, the desire to beget children is immense. For most couples, this desire for children is easily fulfilled. But what happens when that desire to welcome a child is difficult or not possible? What happens when a mother is unable to raise her child? It can lead to feelings of despair, a lack of hope, and desperation.
God Created by Love
The truth about human dignity guides our decisions and shapes our view on human life, respecting its sacredness in every circumstance, even when speaking about the gift of adoption. We must first begin with a proper anthropological understanding of the human person, who is set apart from the rest of creation.
The human person is the only created being made in the image of God (Gen 1:27). This image is unique to the human person, who is “the only creature on earth that God has willed for its own sake” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 356). And unlike the animals and other created things that are made for the service of man, continues the Catechism, the human person “alone is called to share, by knowledge and love, in God’s own life. It was for this end that he was created, and this is the fundamental reason for his dignity.”
The Church’s anthropology—i.e., the understanding of human nature and the human person—is not solely the product of natural human reason. It is one which is informed by God’s divine revelation. In other words, God reveals a truth about the human person which is founded upon God’s own immutable truth. This truth begins with the understanding that life is a gift; it is received from the Creator, who created all things, both spiritual and material. He is the unlimited source of all existence (Gen 1:1-2).
Value of Human Dignity
To reject this truth leads to a plethora of problems, ultimately leading one to believe there is no God and no absolute moral law. History is replete with examples of what happens in the absence of a sound anthropology of the human person. One only needs to consider how modern society and culture view human dignity, equating its value through the lens of productivity and abilities, both physical and cognitive, or the lack thereof. The results are catastrophic, resulting in untold errors that effect society and individuals, especially the voiceless and vulnerable: abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem cell research, cloning, pornography, human trafficking, etc.
However, human dignity is not contingent upon these factors; it is inherent in every person from fertilization to natural death. This truth revealed by God obligates us to oppose all that undermines the sanctity of human life, all that rejects God’s image in each human person.
Adoption is transformative, altering the lives of both the adoptive parents and the children involved. As with any life-changing decision, a couple considering adoption should always place the child’s best interests uppermost in mind and heart.
People look into adoption for many reasons, but their focus should always be rooted in serving the child, who is someone with great dignity that must be respected. And the reason for considering adoption should not only be because one is unable to welcome a child through conjugal love, but because a couple wishes to open their heart to a child, making them a son or daughter, and to welcome them into their family. This reflects the sacrificial love of Christ and reveals that there is something uniquely precious and significant about adopting a child that can be as profound as begetting a child naturally.
Charity in Adoption
Though studies and experience reveal that a child benefits best when being raised by their biological parents, we know there are situations when this is not possible, such as when a single mom faces circumstances that limit her ability to raise her child. While the best single person to raise a child is his or her mother, there are occasions when a single mother (or for that fact a married couple) realizes the best option for the well-being of her child is adoption.
Among the reasons for adoption could be infertility, which is a great burden for couples who desire to live out their vocation to welcome the gift of children from God. There are a variety of moral approaches that couples facing the grief of infertility can pursue, remembering that despite infertility they “have a married life that is filled with love and meaning” (Married Love and the Gift of Life). But if the moral means fail to result in the begetting of a child, the couple must remember that their married life remains fruitful “when it is open to others, to the needs of the apostolate, to the needs of the poor, to the needs of orphans, to the needs of the world” (Pope St. John Paul II;quoted in Married Love and the Gift of Life).
In other words, spouses who suffer from infertility can give expression to their love and generosity by adopting children. To realize this end, we must provide couples with assistance, as discussed in Dignitatis personae:
In order to come to the aid of the many infertile couples who want to have children, adoption should be encouraged, promoted and facilitated by appropriate legislation so that the many children who lack parents may receive a home that will contribute to their human development (no. 13).
Adoption expresses a spirit of generosity, a willingness to open one’s life to another human being who might otherwise be deprived of a loving home. This is why the Catholic Church also encourages adoption even if a married couple has already been blessed with natural children.
Love Requires Sacrifice
But sadly, the number of adoptions by married couples is down, both domestically and globally. According to the National Council for Adoption, an estimated 95,306 children were adopted in the U.S. in 2020, down 17% from 2019. Most of those adoptions (58%) were public, with less than half (42%) through private channels.
Adoption is as far as possible from the mindset that rejects children and considers them an intrusion. The anti-life culture has been successful in convincing couples that welcoming children is costly and burdensome, opening the door to the mindsets of contraception and abortion. This impacts how people approach adoption, seeing the journey as too costly and risks too great. But there is something very beautiful and holy about the embrace of this cost for the life of a child.
Because of our silence and the lack of teaching and encouragement about the gift of adoption, it is not surprising that adoption is chosen so infrequently. As the Church defends and promotes the beauty of marriage, conjugal love, and the begetting of children, we need to also promote a positive message about adoption. God has given us the message, revealed in Jesus’ Incarnation and Passion. God’s cost to adopt us was the price of His Son’s life, which was infinitely greater than any cost we will endure in adopting and raising children.
And because a child is “not something owed to one but is a gift” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2378) and has rights, we must also seek high standards of practice and care regarding adoption, ensuring that children are safe and are given the opportunity to be welcomed. Adoption is not the answer for everyone, but it is the best answer for many.
To be a parent is a noble vocation given by God and not simply a matter of biology. It involves caring and sacrificing for others, for the life of a family. Becoming parents through adoption uniquely expresses this form of parenthood.
St. Joseph Patron of Adoption
St. Joseph is a powerful intercessor for those pursuing adoption. Through all of human history there has never been a type of fatherhood like St. Joseph’s, who becomes a father by the will of God. With Mary his wife, St. Joseph welcomes the holy Child as his own, giving Jesus all the love, affection, and care that he would accord to a natural-born son.
St. Joseph was a father in all respects, excluding physical generation, and through grace, he generously offered his fatherly heart to Jesus in every way possible. With a faith that guided each and every one of his thoughts and actions, St. Joseph embraces the divine mystery and places himself totally at its service. He is a model for how to love children who have been placed in our care but aren’t biologically “ours.”
Pope Francis, while discussing the role of St. Joseph in the Holy Family, spoke about the beauty of adoption and its role in family life and society. “A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world,” said the Holy Father, “but by taking up the responsibility to care for that child.”
The pope described openness to adoption as being “generous and beautiful, [a] good attitude” adding,
Joseph shows us that this type of bond is not secondary; it is not second best. This kind of choice is among the highest forms of love, and of fatherhood and motherhood. How many children in the world are waiting for someone to take care of them! And how many married couples want to be fathers and mothers but are unable to do so for biological reasons; or, although they already have children, they want to share their family’s affection with those who do not have it. We should not be afraid to choose the path of adoption, to take the “risk” of welcoming.
Please join me in invoking the intercession of St. Joseph, praying for children who long to be welcomed into a loving home and for those traveling upon the path of adoption. And let us offer a prayer of thanksgiving, remembering the love God has shown to us in Jesus Christ by making us His adopted children.
Saint Joseph,
you who loved Jesus with fatherly love,
be close to the many children who have no family
and who long for a dad and mom.
Support the couples who are unable to have children,
help them to discover, through this suffering, a greater plan.
Make sure that no one lacks a home, a bond,
a person to take care of him or her;
and heal the selfishness of those who close themselves off from life,
that they may open their hearts to love.Amen.