How Abortion Degrades Men

“Guilty? Yes, no matter what the motive, love of ease, or desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; but oh! Thrice guilty is he who, for selfish gratification, heedless of her prayers, indifferent to her fate, drove her to the desperation which impels her to the crime.”

Susan B. Anthony

Recently, during a Zoom fundraising event for “White Dudes for Harris,” U.S. Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg said that men have more freedom in a country where abortion on demand is the norm, because they do not have to take responsibility for their actions. According to Buttigieg, legal abortion makes men freer than they would be without it. 

The implication was clear: abortion “frees” men from accountability, implying that women’s lives and choices are secondary to men’s convenience. Buttigieg’s remarks also overlook the profound effects—both physical and emotional—that abortion has on women. 

“I am so glad she [Kamala Harris] has made freedom the theme of her campaign,” said Buttigieg. He continued: 

Yes, women’s freedom is Exhibit A, after Donald Trump demolished the right to choose, but of course, men are also more free in a country where we have a president who stands up for things like access to abortion care. Men are more free when the leader of the free world and the leader of this country supports access to birth control. 

Buttigieg, who spoke for nearly five minutes, also addressed other examples of so-called freedom that include contraception, in vitro fertilization, and same-sex unions. These positions and comments are fully in step with Democrat presidential nominee Kamala Harris and her running mate Tim Walz. They have made “reproductive rights” a central focus of their campaign, keeping in line with the 2020 Democratic Party Platform (and the DNC’s 2024 Draft Platform) that advocates for abortion in any and all circumstances up to the point of birth.  

Harris believes it is a woman’s “right” to choose whether to keep her child or abort. And she asserts that there is a healthcare crisis because women do not have free, unhindered access to abortion (i.e. “reproductive rights”) in every state. For Harris and the Democratic Party, “reproductive freedom is on the ballot.” 

Why Should We Care?

Buttigieg’s and Harris’ positions point to crucial problems with abortion and its mindset. These problems are sex without responsibility, a false understanding of freedom, and claiming that abortion is health care.  

Let us begin with the latter. Harris, the Democratic Party, and pro-abortionists in recent years have altered their messaging strategy, abandoning the slogan of “choice” to claim instead that abortion is simply essential health care for women (i.e., reproductive health). By claiming an objective basis in medicine, abortion supporters seek to marginalize health care providers and others who disagree with them. But this claim is contrary to the facts.  

Abortion is not health care. It does not improve a woman’s life and health. It treats no disease but carries significant potential harm for both women and their preborn children. Abortion is inherently different from other medical procedures. No other procedure involves the purposeful killing of an innocent preborn child, which is a violation of the inherent rights of the most vulnerable and youngest members of our society and the human family.  

In pregnancy, there are two distinct individuals demanding care and protection. Abortion is not a matter of personal choice or about women’s rights. It is about the basic human right of a preborn child, the child’s right to life. Abortion is not “medically necessary” and has no justification in terms of women’s health. And as studies have revealed in most cases, women do not seek abortion because of health-related issues, but because of a lack of support from their spouse, partner, or family.

For example, from 1996-2023 in Florida, Louisiana, Minnesota, Nebraska, South Dakota, and Utah, 96% of women who aborted chose abortion for social reasons. Even by the loose definition of “hard cases” adopted by the states, we can see that less than 4% of all abortions are performed for rape, incest, eugenics (birth defects), and threats to the physical and mental health of the mothers. Women and their preborn children deserve our support, not the destruction offered by abortion.

Abortion Exploits Women

Buttigieg, Harris, and the DNC endorse a culture and society where men are “free” to use women and women are coerced into abortions. This is not freedom.  

Abortion empowers men to exploit women, pushing them into having an abortion, while taking no responsibility for their own actions. Buttigieg’s remark exposes a perspective that undermines the inherent dignity of women, perpetuating a mindset and a behavior that allows men to benefit from abortion financially, emotionally, and sexually. This so-called freedom supports a conduct that seeks care-free sexual encounters and endorses an irresponsible attitude that objectifies women, ultimately leading to the failure to support women in their time of need. It implies that women’s lives and choices are secondary to men’s convenience. And as mentioned earlier, a growing body of evidence reveals that a large percentage of abortions occur because women are coerced, often by men, which makes the talk about “autonomy” and “rights” sound hollow. 

This approach establishes and encourages a culture in which men are absolved of their responsibilities, leaving women to bear the burden of unplanned pregnancies alone. It is also demeaning to the role of fathers, degrading procreation, parenthood, and the dignity of men and women. It sends a message that it is acceptable for men to disengage from the consequences of their actions, rather than support women and children. Moreover, Buttigieg’s remarks reveal a society that celebrates the divorce between the dignity of the sexual act (an act that is meant to be expressed within marriage alone) and its purpose, creating a culture that strictly seeks pleasure over everything else.

Abortion Doesn’t “Free” Anyone

Buttigieg’s remarks and the pro-abortion lobby expose a callous indifference to the fate of human beings before the moment of birth. 

Many think that abortion is just a “woman’s issue.” This mindset is often supported by a legal system and society that consistently ignores the fathers of preborn children. However, these men are no less fathers than those whose children have been born. And far too much of this culture of death is traceable to men’s abandonment of the call to fatherhood. In some cases, this abandonment is literal, as when they pressure the mother of their child to abort the fruit of their union, or when they simply walk out on their responsibilities. 

Proponents of abortion often speak of abortion from the perspective of equality, using the example of a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy. They claim that if she is denied an abortion, she might be required to forgo her educational and professional opportunities. Because men do not become pregnant, they face no obstacles to pursuing their goals. They claim that restricting abortion places women in a position of inequality with men. However, genuine gender equality respects what makes women unique, including supporting their well-being when pregnant and caring for them and their preborn and born children. Abortion does not create equality but “frees” men and society to abandon their obligation to care, protect, and serve.

If By “Free” You Mean…

One of the themes that I return to often in these columns is that the things that contribute to authentic human flourishing, i.e. to a rich and joyful life, and the provisions of God’s law are one and the same thing. Namely, God does not issue His commands capriciously to “impose” Himself on us, but rather provides us with laws that draw us upwards to the fullest, most-alive version of ourselves. 

Moden day society equates freedom with being able to do whatever one wishes. Law is taken to be nothing more than a set of rules imposed upon people against their will. And it is often taken as self-evident that “law” stifles “freedom,” and thus inhibits happiness. Since happiness requires, or so our culture assumes, unrestricted freedom, anything restricting or limiting one from acting as one chooses is an infringement on one’s freedom.  

One of the laws laid down by God, which is consistently affirmed by the Church, is that sexual relationships ought to be restricted to marriage, and that marriage itself ought to be the life-long, faithful union of a man and a woman, which is open to the begetting of children. Men are “more free” when they enter into union with a person of the opposite sex in marriage. In marriage, men learn to transcend their own desires and to put the good of their spouse and of their children before their own. They vow to love them with a love that is so steady, self-sacrificial, and self-giving, that none of life’s circumstances can interrupt or harm it. 

Our culture, tragically, has rebelled against this view, asserting that freedom (and thus, happiness) is only to be found in the exact opposite view: sexuality is to be freely “expressed” in any way that anyone decides. Conjugal love and procreation are merely peripheral features of sexuality, with the begetting of children viewed as an unfortunate and regrettable side-effect of sexual behavior.  

Instead of pursuing the vision of authentic human flourishing, Buttigieg and other progressives endorse and pursue an utterly reductionist, even debased understanding of the human person and human sexuality. They reject the idea that sexuality might have any deeper meaning or purpose, or that there might be better or worse ways to express one’s sexuality. Abortion is not about “reproductive rights” for women: it is more about enabling men to be sexually free, unhindered from any consequence of procreation.  

Men – fathers – who abandon their children or seek to kill them by abortion rather than choosing to care for them and their mothers are not “more free.” They are choosing a path of convenience, rejecting their call to self-sacrifice and love. Buttigieg praises abortion as an act that liberates men, but in truth, it diminishes men, who leave women to bear the brunt of unplanned pregnancies alone, rather than supporting them and the children they have fathered. 

Instead of excusing men and rewarding them for their cowardice, our society should encourage (require) them to take responsibility, support the women with whom they have engaged in a sexual act, and embrace fatherhood, rather than being given an “pass” through abortion.

Men, Step Up!

Buttigieg said abortion gives men a certain liberty. What he does not say is that this so-called freedom comes at the expense of women and the lives of preborn children. Is it truly “freedom” if the means to obtain this freedom is to perpetuate an injustice against another individual or multiple individuals – the abandonment of a woman and the death of a child?

The approach of modern society and culture reduces sexual acts to a biological transaction that has no intrinsic meaning or purpose, and which is utterly private. This understanding of human sexuality is not only horribly reductionistic, stripping the sexual act of much of its beauty and richness, but has also unleashed much suffering.  

The wisdom of the Church’s teaching is in how it captures the totality of what the sexual act is about: not just a source of physical pleasure, or even an expression of love between a couple, but also the means by which humans establish families and contribute to the health and continuity of society. The Church’s view is that the sexual act, an act exclusively reserved for married couples, is so noble and so powerful that it must be carefully protected and nourished, integrated within the person and within society. 

Manhood is in crisis in our modern world, which seeks to blur the differences between man and woman. In response to this crisis, we do not need selfish men who play it safe. We desperately need men to be more responsible and sacrificial towards women, not less. We need men to respect women and honor their dignity. We need men who are disciplined and can control their sexual appetites, acting chastely. Chastity not only is a virtue of self-control and self-respect, but it is also a virtue of mutual respect and responsible love. We need men who do not ignore the fruit of procreation, but are willing to be responsible, welcoming their children and supporting their mothers.  

True justice for women begins in the order of love and respect for their inherent dignity. We need men to not only recognize their own uniqueness but also the unique gifts of women that enable men and women, complements to each other, to be drawn to each other to create a family and to shape the wider culture.  

The Church’s message about the human person and the dignity of human sexuality are harder messages to sell than Buttigieg’s. However, if men and society ignore these fundamental truths, they (and society) are gravely diminished.